Thursday, November 6, 2008

Wasn't Sure What to Say...

I have mentioned several times before about my best friend who got the lapband. (For newer readers, I am not bashing her. We are all fighting our way out of obesity.) She had not been to her doctor in six months, and had gained 23 pounds. I honestly did not know what to say. She went into this surgery so uneducated. She has not tried to lose weight.

What does her situation do for me? It serves as a stern reminder. The thought of gaining weight back scares the crap out of me. I don't want to be a weight loss statistic. I want to beat the odds. My friend's situation also completely reinforces for me the need for a cap. I have blogged about how most thin people have this....a "something has got to give," point. For me, that point is 150 pounds. I cannot go back over that number. It is so easy to let the weight creep back on.

Now onto things that I completely suck at....

1. Airport Eating: I take the airport as my time to graze as much as I want. I buy nothing but CRAP. I did this when I went down to Colombia and out to Seattle. I know that I won't do this when I travel with Ben later on this month and next month. Why? I would not embarrass myself like that in front of him. The most I will probably do with him is get a cup of Starbucks.

2. Remembering what this whole journey is all about. It is not just about fitting into a certain size of clothing, or achieving a certain number on the scale. This is about my life long health. The decisions I make each day will impact my health in the long term.

3. Realizing that the specifics of my weight are not affecting Ben' (possible) long term plans with me. I think if I were a size 4, if I were 10 pounds lighter, etc...Ben would want to marry me. Again, Ben has done nothing to associate my weight with how much he loves me. He goes overboard to assure me he loves me regardless of my weight. It is just stupid head games that my mind plays. They stink.

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